The Dance
by SciFiQueen
Summary: Contains H/C and some H/W Slash. Younguns, please stay away. It is quite naughty.


**The Dance**

**Rated M**

Dr. Lisa Cuddy was busy sorting her desk in order to leave at a decent hour this Wednesday night.

"I visited my doctor Shelly, and she said that if I'm going to do this. I pretty much have to do it now."

"_Are you trying the in-vitro again?"_

"I wanted to but natural conception would be best since the IVF failed last year."

"_So who you're gonna ask?"_

"That's the problem. I cannot ask any man I know. Can you imagine that conversation? Hey there, Dr. Studmuffin, how about you do me 'til I'm knocked up?"

"_Oh God Lisa, I would love to hear you say those words to someone."_

"Laugh it up. I don't know why I have you as a friend."

"_You love me! And I'm not afraid of cussing you out."_

"Anyway hon, I will call you later. I'm finally heading home."

With that she flipped her cell phone shut, picked up her briefcase and locked her office.

************************************************************************************

Entering the cafeteria for lunch, Cuddy spied Drs. Wilson and House sitting at their usual table bickering.

"What are you talking about?" she inquired as she slipped into the chair next to Wilson.

"Your ovaries," answered House without missing a beat, "these stuff eggs they are parading today are especially scrumptious and naturally we thought of you."

"House!" exclaimed Wilson completely scandalized. "We were not talking about your ovaries, Cuddy."

She stared at House murderously and reached out, grabbed an egg out of House's hand and took a bite.

"Mmmm, you're right House, these are good," she remarked.

Wilson found it funny as House scrambled out of his chair with disgust mumbling _'buzzkill' _and limped out of the cafeteria.

"Uh Cuddy, we really weren't talking about you. We were arguing about artificial turf," explained Wilson.

"I know. But that ass got what he deserved," she rejoined completely unfazed.

Wilson quickly finished his lunch and excused himself. The two interns hoping to talk with Cuddy had overheard the conversation and were afraid of approaching the Dean. Feeling eyes on her, Cuddy looked up and raised an eyebrow in question to the young doctors. With that prompt, the approached and gingerly sat when invited across from Cuddy.

"Uh, Dr. Cuddy, ah I, I mean we would like to talk to you about summer break," began one of the doctors.

"We are," continued the other to be cut off by Cuddy.

"Drs. Madison and Koresh," stated Cuddy.

Both interns stared in shock at her. They never expected the Dean of Medicine to know who they are.

"Um, we would like to volunteer as your assistants over the break," piped Madison hurriedly.

Cuddy gave them a hard look and after a moment nodded and said, "OK, you can't be any worse than the ones the agency sends. Monday at 8, see you then." She left two stunned but happy doctors as she powered her way back to her office.

The day passed without incident and much to her surprise House actually did his clinic hours with minimal arguments from Nurse Brenda.

*************************************************************************************

At 7PM, House interrupted Cuddy's dinner by barging into her house uninvited and yelling down the hall. He limped into the kitchen and took a seat as she finished washing her dishes. She decided to ignore him until his impatience got the better of him. She didn't have to wait very long. With a pout, he extracted a small paper bag from his jacket's pocket and slid it over to her. She wearily opened the bag and found two mercury thermometers.

"House, what the hell is this?"

"They are called thermometers, _Doctor _Cuddy," he snarked.

"And your game tonight is…?"

"You will ovulate in about eight days. It would be prudent to start charting now."

"And who says I'm not doing that? And what is your fascination with my reproductive system?"

House's eyes enlarged like saucers at her level of comfort with this conversation. He had hoped to see her freak out. "I have no interest in your girly stuff," he answered screwing up his face.

"_Riiight…_of course you don't. All my employees stop by my house to talk about my menstrual cycle."

"Fine," hollered House, "For some damn inexplicable reason, I want you to have your dream of a mini-cuddy-parasite. And since you are too chicken shit to do what you really want, I'm gonna make it real easy for you. This way we'll be even." He stood and headed towards her front door continuing his tirade, "Keep one here for morning and night, and the other at your office for midday." With that her front door slammed and House tore off with a speed.

Cuddy shook her head and allowed a small smile at his action. She knew the other shoe will eventually drop so she didn't even bother to try and figure out how House knew about her gynae appointment or apparently what her doctor advised.

************************************************************************************

The other shoe dropped at 5:45 AM on Friday. She awoke at 5:15, stretched and snuggled her pillow awaiting the alarm at 6 o' clock to get up and start her day.

At 5:30 she heard a car sputtered stop and fifteen minutes later House entered her bedroom clad in a plain white t-shirt, green striped pajama bottoms and slippers.

"What the hell is it now?" she asked angrily.

House grabbed the thermometer from her bedside table, tore the alcohol pad open and said, "Turn over" as he swabbed the instrument.

"Have you completely lost your mind?" laughed Cuddy. "I will take my temperature orally at 6."

Unperturbed, he rejoined "have you ever inserted anything into your ass Cuddy?" At her look of disgust he continued, "Thought so. I'm assuming your pussy-faced boyfriends haven't either."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes and countered, "No, and neither will you. Go home, House."

The alarm rang out into Cuddy's tense bedroom. She threw her sheet off and attempted to get up when House growled, "Turn the hell over so we can keep a schedule."

"What is this 'we' House. How is this important to you?"

"Anal temperature is the most sensitive. This thermometer is top-of-the-line and _glass. _You need to be as thorough what with your wacked out system," he explained as if talking to a really slow person.

"Yeah House, insult me."

"Dammit Cuddy, turn the hell around! You know I'm right. I don't want you trying to insert it and break the damn thing in you."

He grabbed her shorts and jerked it down her legs with one hand before she could think to move. Her hand shot down to cover herself as House flipped her over.

"Raise your ass," he commanded. Cuddy reluctantly raised her butt with her shorts and panty around her knees. Using his left thumb and forefinger, he spread above her hole. She immediately tensed and he rubbed her ass while encouraging her to relax. When she did, he inserted the thermometer to about an inch. He sat back and took in her inflamed face. He knew she was embarrassed and in an amazing un-House- like fashion, kept his mouth shut. He retrieved the thermometer and recorded the value on the chart resting on her bedside table. As paranoid as Cuddy is, he knew she knew what had to be done and that she would be prepared to the tiniest detail. He cleaned the thermometer and replaced it in its box. "I'm gonna go get my beauty sleep," he grumbled and left her bedroom without a backward glance.

She heard the door close and then got up and prepared for her day. Cuddy was apprehensive about his behaviour at work because House was House was House and she realized that he just may be in this with her all the way without feeling the need to broadcast it. She felt an ease when she spoke with Wilson and he acted normal.

**********************************************************************************

Cuddy wasn't even surprised when House appeared on her doorstep at 7:30PM. What surprised her is that he actually knocked when she can clearly see her spare key hanging on his bunch as he carelessly tossed his keys on the coffee table.

At 8PM, they proceeded without ceremony to Cuddy's room and took her temperature. They both looked at the first day's readings and looked at each other.

"You didn't tell Wilson," remarked Cuddy.

"Do you want me to?" inquired House.

"No. I was afraid that you would."

"I know that I'm the biggest possible jerk and that you are usually on the receiving end on my poison. But not this, this is private." House made most of that speech looking out the window. He got up and settled in her living room, turning on the TV with his right leg resting on her coffee table.

Cuddy didn't question House's occupancy of her guest room. She felt strangely comfortable with him there and not actually paying him any attention. He felt the same and didn't even miss his porn channels.

After Saturday morning's temperature taking, he prepared to leave. Cuddy was at the kitchen sink when House came up behind her and placed his hands on the counter at her hips. He leaned in and said softly in her ear, "make an appointment with your spa consultant or whoever you go to for your bikini wax. Get a Brazilian. I don't like pubic hairs in my mouth even trimmed ones."

She involuntarily shuddered at his implication but shot back, "then stay away from my pubes."

House grinned and pressed her into the counter. "I mean it. Do it before your hormones rage," he added a whispered _please _and left.

Cuddy amazed herself by stopping and waxing on her way to the grocery store. She felt a bit naughty doing this for House. That both excited and disgusted her in equal parts. That bastard better not be fucking with her because she would fuck him up so good he won't know what day it is.

*************************************************************************************

Their dealings continued and on the eight day just as the jerk predicted, her oral temperature spiked when she looked at the reading during her lunch break. She said nothing to him as she passed him in the hall. That night she was antsy about what he would do when he saw the new readings. Whatever happened, she was glad it was Friday and she had no work planned for the weekend.

House arrived early at 6:30PM and they had dinner. He seemed to be in a strange mood even for House. That changed when he cut her off mid-sentence and called his team to run some tests. It was just one of those _House epiphany moments._

He stared at her when he saw the increased temperature and asked her to straddle his lap. He sat on her bed with his feet planted on the floor. She settled on his lap, her short nightgown making the scene almost erotic. House kissed her hard while moving his hand confidently on her ass cheeks. Cuddy pulled off his t-shirt putting a pause in the kiss. He shuddered but stifled a moan as she rubbed her hands on his chest. He roughly pulled her hand up and placed them around his shoulders and reattached to her mouth. She started grinding on him as they tried to swallow each other's face.

House released her, quickly disposed of the nightgown and focused his attention on her breasts. She could feel his hard bulge and delighted in rubbing against his crotch. As House bit down on a nipple, Cuddy let out a surprised yell. He immediately soothed the nipple with his tongue followed by sucking hard. She arched her back and forced more of her left breast into his mouth. House was thoroughly enjoying himself.

He made a sudden move and had Cuddy on her back. He let go of her breast and licked his way down her torso, dipping his tongue into her navel and moan appreciatively at her smooth, hairless front. He started with his tongue flat, licking leisurely up her slit. "_Yes_" hissed Cuddy. He continued this for another minute and then pushed her legs over his shoulders as he attacked her clit. Cuddy was clawing her bed trying not to scream and give him the satisfaction. She thought about how she finally found a good use for his sarcastic mouth. And God, did the jerk know how to pleasure a pussy. Her orgasm hit unexpectedly. She had never cummed without penetration. House never let up as he worked two fingers into her while rhythmically nudging her clit. The second orgasm earned a loudly moaned "_oh yeah" _from her.

House slid off the bed and stood unzipping his jeans. Cuddy's eyes followed his every move and she exclaimed, "oh my God!" when she saw his erection. House saw her apprehension and asked in his brash manner, "what's the biggest cock you ever had?"

"About 7 or 8," she replied and gulped.

He settled himself between her thighs and kept much of his weight on his forearms as he looked her deep in the eyes.

"We'll have to take this slowly. Make sure you are very wet so you won't get hurt."

Cuddy nodded but was still uneasy. House kissed her languidly and soon she was right with him fighting for dominance. Their tongue dance alternated between rapid and slow. Soon hands joined the party and they caressed each other wherever can be reached. Both of them were moaning approval to the stimulatory actions.

House rolled them over so that Cuddy could be on top and he could have access to massage her ass. That earned him a groan and she wiggled to find a comfortable spot between his thighs being mindful of his injury and pressed against his hard cock. Cuddy loved sex and was good at it but the size of him scared her. House could feel her wet slit sliding and dripping on the part of his dick touching her mound.

When they pulled apart as demanded by their lungs, he urged her to turn around. As she obeyed, he got into a sitting position, heaped some pillows behind him and leaned back into a half-sitting, half-lying pose. She eased herself back and he pulled her into contact with his chest. One hand started caressing her belly while the other alternated attention to her breasts. House licked and kissed down her neck and finally coaxed her into another erotic kiss. Cuddy met his demands with her inflamed passion. The hand on her belly crept torturously slow towards her hot centre. When his fingers finally made contact with her, she rubbed against them and he rolled her clit between his thumb and forefinger. Abandoning that too fast for her liking, he paid homage to her slit and sank his middle finger into her to the hilt. He then used his thumb to keep her clit massaged and slowly pumped the finger in and out. She could do nothing more than moan into his mouth. The feelings were heady. His right hand ministering to her clit and hole. The left spanning her chest rubbing both her nipples with its thumb and forefinger. His tongue fucking her mouth and his hard cock throbbing against her ass. She felt like she was being touched by multiple partners at once.

A few minutes of House's relentless stroking made Cuddy cry out in ecstasy. He quickly got them into the missionary position and worked half his length into her. She squeaked and opened her legs very wide, with the top of her thighs flat against the bed, her legs pointing up and her hands hugging his torso. Silently pleased with the flexibility she had from years of yoga yet it still felt like she was being torn apart.

"Fucking fuck Cuddy!" breathed House harshly holding himself from moving. "You're so tight."

"I've never had something so big in me. It feels like I'm about to split."

Both of them were thinking how great it was to finally be with each other. Cuddy wiggled signaling to House that she's ready to try moving. He started slow and soon they established a rhythm. It didn't take her long to scream out in explosion. Cuddy came with such a stream of colourful curses that House felt proud. Her tight heat clamping him like a vice grip caused him to empty deep into her. Turning on their sides, they came down from the high with soft caresses and kisses. House seemed reluctant to let her out of his arms and she was ecstatic with their newfound closeness. Cuddy felled into an exhaustive sleep with House's cock still in her pussy and her left leg thrown high on his hip. House looked at her in open affection.

They spent the weekend and into Tuesday fucking daily until Cuddy started her period.

*************************************************************************************

After a day from the depths of hell, Cuddy tiredly crawled into her bed. She had her period and was achy. She and House have been trying to get her pregnant for six months. Her body has contorted into ways she never thought of. They were very creative which added more complicated layers to their already fucked- up relationship. At work, nothing changed and this was the biggest surprise for them both. House and Cuddy always wanted each other but always feared a colossal shift in their work dealings. They soon found that they still yelled and challenged each other. The more intense the rows, the better the sex. Cuddy still became sore after sex with House.

It was the middle of winter when everything came to a head. House strolled into Cuddy's living room and met with a very pensive Dean of Medicine. He sat next to her and switched on the TV. She gave him a pointed look and switched the TV off. Now that his attention was focused on her, she said "House, this thing we have is over. I am tired. You were right I failed to become a mother for a reason."

"I am not right! How many times do I have to apologize for that?" he inquired.

"Once would be enough," she replied looking him straight in the eye.

With the grace to look ashamed, he mumbled, "you know I'm sorry."

"No, I hoped you were sorry. You never said it to me. You told Wilson."

He was about to argue that since Wilson told her, it amounts to the same. She read him correctly and continued, "That doesn't count. You hurt me deeply and think yourself too macho to apologize. I really don't know why I bother."

House quickly realized that _this_ is the life-changing moment and blurted out, "I'm sorry."

"I am too," replied Cuddy, "I am also done with this whole baby dance."

"Come on Cuddy, it has only been six months. Couples sometimes try for years before they get pregnant."

"We are not a couple House. At best, we are adversaries who feed off of each other and function exceptionally well. At the very least, we are fuck buddies. And I am tired of the fucking too."

"Says the woman who comes like a damn faucet! You like to fuck and you admitted that these past months have been the best you ever had."

"Yes, but since I am giving up the dream of childbearing it doesn't matter. I am so tired of thermometers pushed up my ass and stuck in my mouth."

"You are not a quitter Cuddy. You are just saying this because I broke that damn MRI."

"House, would it kill you to show a little respect for my position? I know you don't respect me as a person. Everything you do or say to me comes with conditions. You calculate everything to make me submit. I have to defend you to the Board every time you do something dangerous. You constantly weaken my position. Every member can recite the usual bullshit I spew as to why we don't fire you like all the other hospitals, tenure or no."

She made her points in a cold and calm voice which connected to House on a deeply personal level. He realized that his fantasy and reality, both embodied in Lisa Cuddy, are about to be quashed unless he grows up.

"Cuddy I don't know what to say. I fight against every authority. I fight you because you can keep up. I love my job, it was my life for a long time but I do realize that there are other things and I need to make an effort to…" he trailed off and stared off centre as if to find the answer suspended in the ether. "I am truly sorry, for everything" he ended and looked her in the eyes to show her that he was being sincere and hope to hell that she sees everything that he cannot say.

She got up and retreated to her bedroom. House took the hint and after checking that all the windows and doors were locked on her house, made his way to his apartment. He had never really moved in with her. He spent the night often but only has a few personal belongings at her place. They spent a few rare weekends at his place. He looked at his baby grand and remembered how only one month ago he hoisted her up there, ate her to two explosions and fucked like horny teenagers. He was always horny around her and she was ovulating, so it was spectacular. As he looked at one of the few things he valued in life to the point that people are not allowed to touch, it amazed him that Cuddy cumming on his baby was no problem. In fact he wished he had her here with him.

Their separation was handled with a weird professionalism. Neither of them was sure how to categorize it. It wasn't really a break-up.

*************************************************************************************

Baring one incident after House insulted a major donor, his relationship with Cuddy during working hours remained the same since they stopped having sex. The screaming, yelling, threatening and sexist remarks abounded.

Wilson barged into House's office and started, "what is wrong with you House?" At House's blank look he continued, "Cameron spent half hour locked in the ladies' room crying. What did you do to her?"

With a sigh, House replied, "I told her to get her mind on the job and off my dick. So don't come in here with your shiny boy-wonder- on- horseback routine and fussing. She is dense I want nothing to do with her."

Wilson sputtered incoherently and left hastily. House wasn't even paying him heed by then. Their relationship was at definite ebb.

House made his way to Wilson's office late on Tuesday evening. Just as he was about to make his usual dramatic entrance, he heard voices through the ajar door. House being House just had to eavesdrop.

"Well," started Wilson in his gossip mode. "How was the evening?"

"It was nice. He is very charming."

"_What the fuck?"_ thought House. Cuddy went out with someone and Wilson knew yet the bastard never said anything. He had half a mind to barge in there and tear Wilson another asshole. But his curiosity got the better of him.

"Derek said he enjoyed himself too. He can't stop talking about you and how incredible you are."

Cuddy's low laugh stirred something in House. "That's good then because we're having dinner on Friday. D'Agostino's at 8."

"So, did you go back to his place? He has an amazing view of the river."

"Wilson!" exclaimed Cuddy, "I just met the guy. He walked me to my door and kissed my cheek." At his barely suppressed mirth she continued, "If he plays his cards right on Friday, I may just see that river view."

House limped quietly away strategizing how to get back the both of them. _Derek Metzger, that weasel! Wilson is a dick for introducing Cuddy to his best buddy from college. What a loser!_

*************************************************************************************

Cuddy's assistant was so focused on his boy-on-boy internet porn that he didn't see House soon enough to react. By the time he got the browser closed House had already seen the screen. Rico turned a red face to House and stammered, "Dr. Cuddy, she's busy and doesn't want to be disturbed."

House stared at him and remarked, "And I want no clinic duty forever." At the completely lost expression of the young man House shook his head and as he pushed open the office door asked, "Where do they get you people from? Dumb U? Some things just never happen!"

"Cuddy, I need your signature on this brain biopsy."

"No, go do the list of usual tests to rule out everything before your insanity saves the day," she replied without pausing in signing the mountain of requests and reports on her desk.

Expecting an argument, she was surprised when House headed to her door while telling the team on the phone, "Mommy said you can't go home early. Go run ……"

When the door slammed, she looked up and without questioning her good luck, continued with her work undisturbed for the rest of the day.

At 6PM on Thursday, House picked up his phone and dialed the number scribbled on a napkin.

_Derek Metzger._

"Mr. Metzger, this is Rico, Dr. Cuddy's assistant. She apologizes for tomorrow night but there are a few emergencies which she needs to deal with. Can we set a date after next Tuesday for dinner?"

House delivered that with a straight face and snotty New England accent to make any Bostonian proud.

_Thursday or Friday is good for me._

"Super! Friday it is then. 8 o'clock fine?"

_That will be perfect._

"OK, thank you. Bye bye."

House then repeated his act with the restaurant claiming to be Derek Metzger called out of town. Feeling thoroughly happy with himself, he went home to prepare for Friday night.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy left her office at 4PM on Friday to go get ready for her dinner date. She had a busy week and was really looking forward to relaxing in a nice atmosphere with a nice man. The jury was still out on Derek and although she told Wilson she might go home with Derek, it wasn't a real possibility tonight but anything to shut drama queen Wilson up is always worth the effort.

House entered Cuddy's house and proceeded to her bedroom. She was using the hairdryer and could not have heard him putter around. That suited him just fine. House quickly undressed and the thought of freshly showered Cuddy lifted his cock to half-mast. He struck what he figured was a sexy pose on the bed but after a few minutes with her still in the bathroom, he got impatient. Walking while continually stroking his cock to keep it hard was slow. Cuddy had finished drying her hair and replaced the dryer to its shelf when House's arms circled her waist and swiftly pulled her towards him. The scream she let out was followed by a jab in the ribs that caused House to curse. At the sound of his voice, she stopped and became furious.

"House, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Mmmm," responded House nuzzling your neck.

"Get off me!" she demanded.

His response was to push his right hand in her robe for his boob grab and his left hand to her mound. Finding her devoid of panty, House quickly set his fingers to work driving her into a frenzy. Cuddy was disgusted with her immediate response to his touch. No other man has treated her the way House does; half whore, half lover. He hoisted her up onto the countertop and pulled off her robe and settled between her legs. They started kissing frantically with House's hands reaching and caressing everywhere. He felt like coming home, he really missed a naked and turned on Lisa Cuddy. Then he remembered why he came in the first place and his touches became rougher. He stuck his middle finger up her ass and his index finger into her pussy. She squealed in his face at the sudden intrusion. He started pumping his fingers. There was some pain in her ass but the overall pleasure eclipsed it. He kissed her hard and after a few minutes pulled his fingers away just as suddenly.

Grabbing her by the waist, he lifted her off the counter and ordered, "bed."

They made it to her bedside and he roughly shoved her unto her back and immediately entered her wet cunt. Cuddy moaned her approval and he started slamming into her. She grabbed on to his shoulders to keep her grounded as an intense orgasm tore through her. House pulled out and got off the bed. He dragged her to the edge by her ankles, told her to get on her knees and suck his cock. Cuddy took his glistening cock into her mouth working the head and about 3 inches. Her right hand grabbed the base of his cock while the left started pumping up and down between her lips and other hand. House growled his approval and stuck both hands in her hair massaging her scalp. He stopped her before cumming in her mouth.

Crawling back on the bed, they assumed the doggy position and House went to work. He was moving in long slow strokes making Cuddy feel every inch of pleasure as her pussy swallowed his hard cock. When he reached as far as her body allowed, he stopped and rubbed her ass cheeks. House observed their joining, a few inches of cock was still visible. He thought, not for the first time, how incredibly hot it is to see Cuddy stretched to the limit on his dick. At her impatient wiggle, he renewed his efforts and worked up to fast pace slamming in and out of her hard as she rocked back in tandem. She was constantly groaning and at a powerful lunge from House, her hands slipped and she was left with her ass in the air and face flat. She attempted to get back up but he slammed a hand to the middle of her back to keep her in that position. This new angle allowed his balls to slap against her and this new sensation had her crooning, _"Oh God, oh God, Oh God" _followed by, "_oh shit. FUCK," _as she came.

Cuddy felt something wet followed by House's finger up her puckered hole. She hated herself for enjoying him finger fucking her ass. As she was getting used to the new sensations, he pulled out again and nodded for her to go back up the bed and lie on her back. He followed and settling between her open thighs, kissed her hard before reentering her pussy. As much control as he had, House knew he needs to bring this to an end soon. The morphine he hopped up on would keep the pain away for another 10 hours or so but there will be hell to pay after that.

She will definitely be sore in the morning and possibly the day after. He was very rough with her tonight but somehow that lent an edge to their fucking. _When the hell did she become so kinky? _As if reading her mind, he smirked at her slipped his left hand under her body to her lower back keeping her anchored to him. He latched on to one nipple and sucked hard. Her back arched in response and he could tell she was on her way to another orgasm. He was very close too so he grabbed her around the neck with his right hand and squeezed. Cuddy's eyes bulged in surprise and rolled back in her head as the oxygen deprivation heighten her ecstasy. As he came with a roar, House cut off her oxygen for a few seconds causing Cuddy to pass out. He released her neck and quickly got off of her flopping at her side. His hand shot out to ensure she had a radial pulse even as he fought to get his breathing under control. She was fine. After about 10 minutes, he got up and stared at the view of her passed out with hands lying at her sides, legs open wide and pussy dripping with his creamy cum. If he weren't already in love with her, Greg House fell in love with Lisa Cuddy.

************************************************************************************

Leaving Cuddy in a deep sated sleep/unconsciousness, House showered, threw on his t-shirt and jeans. He arrived at his destination and as customary banged continually on the door. Dr. James Wilson answered with a harried look wearing shorts. House barged into his apartment and headed for the bedroom. When he saw Wilson had no company, he smiled widely. By this time Wilson had locked his door and entered his bedroom.

"House, what is your problem? There are some people who actually sleep."

"You are my problem." At Wilson's puzzled look House grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him hard. Wilson tried to break away but House was too strong. When they came up for air, Wilson tried to talk but House shut him up with a snide, "Oh don't pretend you didn't enjoy that. I can feel your boner." James' face became very red and he obeyed as House ordered him to his knees.

When Wilson spied House's cock, he was amazed. _That bastard is fucking hung! _It has been ages since Wilson had sex with another man but he was completely turned on by his jerk of a friend. House looked on amazed as Wilson worked almost all of his cock deeply down his throat. James didn't even gag or blink. Wilson wondered if House walked around all day sans underwear like a porn star, he surely fucks a mouth like one. Wilson in another of his delusions about House thinks he now understands why House watch porn. _God, if House ever fucks Cameron, she'll change from a love-sick puppy to a raving cock-starved lunatic._

Even with suspicions, House was unsure of Wilson's sexuality until now. The cocksucker was one greedy bastard, playing for both teams. House had only ever fucked one guy before in a drunken orgy, the only piece of evidence no longer existed. He disposed of that tape with disgust. But for Wilson, he would make an exception just this once. His so-called best friend set up _his woman _with said so-called best friend's damn bisexual college buddy, oh the fucking nerve.

James eagerly got into the doggy pose on his bed which was the perfect height for House to stand and deliver. House grabbed a condom and lube from his jeans that was willfully thrown on Wilson's bed for easy retrieval. He pushed the head of his cock into James' ass and Wilson's moan encouraged House to slam in with force. Wilson cried out as the red hot cock plundered his ass enjoying every deep thrust. House never let up and slapped Wilson's ass repeatedly just for good measure. House orgasmed, pulled out, and left Wilson to take care of his own hard cock.

House left as suddenly as he appeared and headed home for another shower and bed. He was truly exhausted but it was worth it. He took some snacks and water to his bedside ensuring that his vicodin is already sitting on the table. Greg House will be in excruciating pain on Saturday morning and likely all day. If he can move out of bed by midday, he will be happy.

Monday morning found House's team giving him resigned looks as he limped into the conference room singing, 'O_ops, I did it again.' _ Wilson was happy and Cuddy was stunned.

She learnt that morning at home after consulting her bedside diary that she hadn't have a period in seven weeks. _The Incident _happened seven weeks ago when House pissed off a donor and spent most of the day hiding from her. When she cornered him in the Lucas Wing at 7PM, he pulled her into an empty private room and reminded her why she liked sex. _I won't live this down when that asshole learns that he knocked me up. _ Never before had she felt her life a cosmic joke until now.

Punto final.

A/N: I had intended a longer, multi-chaptered piece but I get lazy with updating those. I have PPTH Redux written in my head, if I can only put it on paper! Anyway, thanks for reading and stay tuned, there will be more ;)


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